Allison in Wonderland
by T.M.K.06
Summary: Cameron ends up in the hospital with some very strange and fantastic dreams. No ships, all characters make some kind of an appearance but not quite in the expected form. May have some angst. Takes place before No Reason, no spoilers. Finished!
1. Chapter 1

ch 1

Allison was waking up slowly. She didn't want to wake up and definitely not to open her eyes and see the contempt in House's eyes. Not only had she first fallen head over heels in love with him, now she was also falling head over heels – literally – at his feet. Ok, she was tired, but that was no reason to trip over one's own feet! But here she was, measuring the carpet in Dr. House's office. Could things get any more embarrassing? Obviously, yes, they could, because she was hearing voices. True they were subdued but she could still recognise Eric and Chase's voices. Great, just great, she couldn't do even this in private! She moved her head a little. The carpet felt funny. She didn't remember it being this soft. And it smelled like grass! And did she hear birds? Oh boy, this was not good. She was really going to make a fool of herself. But then, what else was new.

Allison opened her eyes with resignation. Might as well get all the snickering out of the way. Overhead she saw a canopy of leaves. A tree? Had they carried her outside? Why? This made no sense at all. She looked around trying to find Foreman and Chase. She had heard their voices, after all, and she wanted someone to give her some answers. She didn't need to look far. Only, she didn't quite find what she had expected.

Not too far from her she saw two – well – creatures? A Scarecrow and a Lion! The Scarecrow looked a lot like Eric, only in straw, and the Lion was the spitting image of Chase – that is had Chase been a lion. Ok, so it was probably safe to say this was not Kansas, but other than that she was really in the woods. She tried to sit up but that made her feel dizzy, so she changed her mind and just let herself sink back onto the grass. A little moan escaped and that brought her companions to her side.

"She is waking up, I think" said the Scarecrow "Alice, are you ok?"

"Of course she is not ok" said the Lion "that was an awfully long drop through the rabbit hole. It's a good thing I'm a cat and therefore nimble on my feet or I would have been hurt, too. But it still scared me almost out of my hide."

"Everything scares you, silly, you have no courage!"

"Who are you to call me silly? You are the one who needs a brain."

"Guys, could you pipe it down, please" Allison murmured, "I really don't feel up to listening to your bickering right now. I'd just like to know where we are!"

"We are in the woods, Alice, can't you see?" said the Scarecrow.

"Alison" Allison corrected him.

"Alice on what?" asked the Lion.

"How would I know? It's not like having straw in your head helps you figure things out. You ought to know that, we've been together long enough. You figure it out. What could Alice be on?!"

"Well, she's on the ground" the Lion pondered.

"Maybe she wants us to help her up" brightened the Scarecrow.

They were beginning to give Allison a headache. She started to explain "No, it's my name ... Oh, never mind, just help me up. Slowly." If Alice was who they wanted, then Alice they got, just as long as they helped her to get up and get her bearings.

The help was not quite as expert as one could expect from two doctors, but then, she was pretty sure in this realm they were not doctors. But eventually she was back on her feet and not feeling too bad about it. She looked around but nothing gave her any indication of where she was. Oz was, of course a pretty good guess, but if that was the case where had the rabbit hole come from and where were Dorothy and the Tin Man? Whatever, she needed to find out what was going on. Of course, this was probably just a dream or a hallucination brought about by a concussion, in which case all she had to do was to wait and she would wake up in due course. On the other hand, all of this felt also awfully real – even if bizarre – so maybe she ought not to take any risks.

"We can't just stay here." She said to the other two, "we need to find a way to get back to where we came from. I need to find a way home!"

"Home? What does she mean?" asked the Lion looking at the Scarecrow.

"I'm not sure. I think it's a place or something," the Scarecrow answered. "The Queen of Hearts has a lot of places, does she have a home?"

"No, I think she has a castle but she never has said anything about a home. What about the old woman who lived in the shoe? Didn't she call it a home?" said the Lion

"Maybe, but I don't believe that is what Alice was talking about, or at least I cannot see her living in a shoe. Somehow I think you are supposed live in a home. I believe I have heard people talk about living in a house. Could that be it?" the Scarecrow pondered.

"So you think that home is where house is?" wondered the Lion.

"Oh! Do you know where House is?" Allison exclaimed.

The two guys looked at each other and nodded in satisfaction the Scarecrow telling the Lion, "I think we got it, that's what she means" but then they turned to Allison and said in unison:

"Sorry we don't know any Houses around here."

But then the Lion went on to say: "But we could go and ask people. Surely someone knows how we can find House."

"That's a good idea," said the Scarecrow, "we have been invited to a tea, and it's high time we got there and you can ask people there if they know House."

"Oh yes, I'm hungry! Let's go and have some high tea," growled the Lion.


	2. Chapter 2

ch 2

"But who has invited us to tea? We haven't met anyone yet," Allison wondered.

"It was the White Rabbit who told us about the tea," explained the Scarecrow, "he came by just as the Lion and me were dusting ourselves up after your fall. He is always very polite, except for his habit of being always late, of course."

"How do you know that? Didn't you just say you fell through the rabbit hole with me?" asked Allison.

"Did we?" the Scarecrow asked. Then he looked at the Lion and some kind of communication happened there after which he said, "yes, we did. Didn't we. We fell down with you."

"Sure," said the Lion, "but we've been here before. Don't you remember us telling you about it?"

"Lion, stop being so insensitive! She has just had a great fall it must have rattled her brains! I know mine would be all scrambled up after something like that. If I had a brain, that is", admonished the Scarecrow.

"Well, I suppose its ok then," Allison said, "but if the Rabbit was already late, aren't we going to be awfully late, too?"

"No need to worry, the host won't get mad at us no matter how late we are" intoned the Lion.

"He's right. The Hatter is already so mad, that nothing will make any difference at all" the Scarecrow agreed.

"I'm not sure that sounds terribly reassuring," wondered Allison, "but I suppose there is no help for it. So how do we get to this tea party?"

"We just follow the Yellow Brick Road, of course," said the Lion.

"Yep," agreed the Scarecrow, "the Yellow Brick Road is the way to go."

"Oh? Well, I suppose that's same still. Follow the Yellow Brick Road and you find a way to go home." Allison looked down and noticed for the first time that she was barefoot. "But I cannot go on the yellow brick road barefoot! I need silver shoes!"

"Silver shoes?" the Lion asked.

"Why?" asked the Scarecrow, "and must they be silver?"

"Well, I suppose ruby slippers would work, too, but I need shoes or I cannot go on. I'm sure of that."

"You need silver shoes or ruby slippers to go to a tea party," the Lion repeated. He looked at the Scarecrow for a moment and then they said "Girls!" together.

"Oh well, if you must have shoes, then you must," shrugged the Scarecrow, "maybe we will find the shoes while we look for this House of yours."

"Maybe the Hatter has invited the Shoemaker to his party, too?" the Lion brightened, "after all, he did invite the Butcher and the Baker, I heard."

"The Candlestick maker" said the Scarecrow a little dryly.

"What do you mean" the Lion asked.

"It's the Candlestick maker who goes with the Butcher and the Baker, not the Shoemaker," the Scarecrow pointed out.

"Are you sure," asked the Lion.

"Yes, I'm sure", the Scarecrow confirmed.

"Ok, guys, why don't we just go to the party and see who is there and then go on from there. If somebody knows anything about House, chances are somebody might know something about the shoes, too." Alison thought she better jump in before those two got any more argumentative. Besides, her headache was coming back. "Shall we just get on the Yellow Brick Road, and go!"


	3. Chapter 3

ch 3

And onwards they went. Not singing any songs or anything and not talking too much either since Allison was nursing her headache and her two companions seemed to be preoccupied with their own thoughts, too. Soon they came to a divergence on the road. Instinctively Allison turned right, but suddenly the Lion and the Scarecrow were both tugging at her skirt and telling her not to go there.

"No, no! Not that way. You turn left to get to the Hatter. You don't want to go to the right," said the Scarecrow.

"Ok, if left is the way to go to get to the Hatter, then that's were we will go. Though, these roads do seem to be going in pretty much the same direction. Are you sure the right one isn't just an alternative road to the same place?"

"Yes, we are sure," said the Lion, "the right path leads to the Wicked Wizard of OUCH!" Unseen by Allison the Scarecrow had stepped on the Lion's tail making him yell. Then when the Lion turned to look at him in reproach, he frowned warningly.

Allison, who had been trying to see if there was any sign indicating that the two roads were really going to different places, turned and looked at her fellow travellers. "The Wicked Wizard of .. Ouch?"

"Yes," said the Scarecrow, "he is not a very nice man at all. You would not want to meet him. So this way, I think." And he led the way down the path diverging to the left.

Though it had seemed like both the roads run just side by side, the right path did soon disappear into the woods and out of Allison's sight. She figured that the Scarecrow had been right, and it really did go to another place entirely. Anyway, there wasn't much she could do about it now, one way or the other, as she could hear they were approaching a party of some sort not that far away.

Soon they came to a clearing where there was a huge table laden with all kinds of treats. Cakes and sandwiches, pastries, sweets, muffins and all sorts of goodies that Allison associated with England and remembered from books she had read as a child: Dickens, Lewis and, of course, Carroll. There were huge pots of tea and though there were many people sitting at the table, there were still empty seats as well.

The quests who were already there were a motley crew. She did see the Butcher and the Baker, readily identifying them by their attire, and also the third man in their company who looked exactly like a candlestick maker – though she had no idea what a Candlestick maker should look like. There was also an old woman sitting there – and the hundred or so children that were running around and playing in the woods were probably hers -, there was a Badger there, Mr. and Mrs. Beaver were sitting near him conversing and many other people and creatures. However, it was the tall White Rabbit who first caught Allison's eye, because he looked like Dr. Wilson. Though she had never before thought that James Wilson could possibly resemble a rabbit. She had always associated rabbits with something timid, and timid was not something you associated with Dr. House, not even once removed! And of course, next to the Rabbit, sitting at the head of the table, was the host: The Mad Hatter. Who in his turn was the spitting image of Gregory House. Alison closed her eyes and thought to herself "I should have seen this coming! The way this dream, or whatever this is I'm going through, has been going, this was inevitable."

The Hatter was talking to the Rabbit, but when he saw Allison and her two companions he waved them over to join him at the table.

"There you are. Have a seat, have a seat! We all know who you are, Alice, but I think you haven't yet met my friend. This is Mr. Wabbit, the white rabbit. He, of course, has already met you, though you were quite out of it at the time. How is your head now, dear?"

"I have a bit of a headache, but other than that, I'm fine, thank you" Allison answered cautiously.

"Well, a nice cup of tea will soon sort that out" claimed the Hatter and poured her some tea. "You may wonder why Mr. Wabbit here didn't stay to help, but he was already late and anyway, he is not very good with sick people."

"No I'm not," confirmed the Rabbit. "Besides, I've taken an oath to make a habit of two things: to help, or at least to do no harm. Usually when I try to help, I only make things worse, so now I just make sure I do no harm."

"An oath?" wondered Allison.

"Well, not really," said the Hatter, "I try to tell him, it's not really binding. It's not like he signed it or anything, you know. Besides, I'm not sure it's any kind of oath at all. It's just something this old guy Hippocrates wrote in his book on epidemics. I see no reason why Mr. Wabbit keeps harping on that phrase. And why always to me! It's not like I know anything about infectious diseases. Infectious madness on the other hand, THAT I have plenty of. Want some?"

"Thank you for your kind offer," Allison said politely, "but I think I'm better off without any."

"Ok, have it your way," said the Hatter. "Anyway as I was just about to tell my friend here, I heard the most amusing story this morning, about the Queen of Hearts!"

"Oh, good, pray tell! You know I adore stories about the Queen" said the Rabbit.

The Hatter smiled and started the story: "Well this is how it went: The Queen of Hearts, she made some tarts, all on a summer's day. The Knave of Hearts, he stole the tarts, and took them clean away! The King of Hearts called for the tarts and beat the Knave full sore. The Knave of Hearts brought back the tarts, and guess what the Queen said?"

"Off with his HEAD!" shouted everyone at the table who had heard the story, and then they laughed like it was a good joke.

"Off with his head?" asked Allison. "But he brought them back! Surely an apology would have sufficed."

"Oh, no, not with the Queen of Hearts," the Hatter said, "she wants heads to roll. She has been after all of us for our heads at one time or another. It's just this little quirk of hers. Though, come to think of it, she has been after mine quite a lot lately. Can't figure out why?"

"Could have something to do with the stories you spread about her," pointed out Mr. Wabbit, "she is not at all fond of your lies!"

"Why would that be? As my Butler used to say, any fool can tell the truth, but it requires a man of some sense to know how to lie well. I'm quite fond of my lies, why is not she?" huffed the Hatter.

"Man of some sense?" Allison wondered, "I thought you were quite mad!"

"Of course I'm mad! I'm the Mad Hatter. But what has that got to do with sense?"

"Beats me," sighed Allison rubbing her temples. She just didn't seem to get rid of that headache. Though, surely that was no surprise.

"Oh, your head aches still," the Hatter said faking sympathy, "here, have one of these. They are yummy!" he went on offering her a little white pill.

"Thank you," Allison said politely, and swallowed the pill with some tea. She felt a sudden rush in her head and for a moment all the colours swirled in her eyes. Then everything was still again.

"That was cool!" she heard the Hatter say, but the voice was a little distant and she couldn't see the man, though he had been right there in front of her just a minute ago! She looked around and realized she was near as tall as the trees!!! Help! She looked down and saw the whole tea-party staring at her. The Hatter was beckoning for her to bend down.

"What did you give me?" Allison cried. "I don't like this at all!"

"Oh, don't be such a cry-baby. It's just the first rush. Have another one and you'll settle down just fine," claimed the Hatter giving her another pill.

"I'm not sure that's a good idea" said Allison, biting her lip in indecision.

"Come on, what are you afraid of?" asked the Hatter.

"Really, it's ok," Mr. Wabbit said, "he will have his jokes every now and then, but he really has no intention to harm you."

"Well, if you're sure" Allison said and took the offered pill. There was another rush, another swirl of colours and suddenly she found herself standing on the table with the huge faces of the Hatter, Mr. Wabbit, the Scarecrow and the Lion staring at her.

"Oh, dear," said the Hatter, "wrong dosage again. Well never mind. Just have a bite of this and all will be well."

Allison looked at the latest pill the Hatter was offering her with grave suspicion, but as she could not think what else to do she bit into it and suddenly she was again sitting in her chair at the table.

"That was fun!" said the Hatter.


	4. Chapter 4

ch 4

"No, I don't think it was fun at all," Allison cried, "in fact it made me nauseous, and dizzy and very, very uncomfortable."

"But it was fun to watch," maintained the Hatter.

"But maybe just a tad impolite," Mr. Wabbit pointed out. "She doesn't know you that well yet. It can be quite disconcerting to be the butt of one of your jokes at first."

"I suppose. Anyway, I'm done for today." The Hatter looked around him, "has everybody had enough tea now? We need to wrap up this party soon, since the Queen's heralds are about to come and invite all of you to an afternoon of court and badminton with her, and I really have to be gone before that."

"Why must you be gone? And how do you know they are coming" asked Allison.

"I know they are coming, because they always come at the same time. We have always done it this way. First I serve the tea, and then the Queen invites everybody over to her garden. Even though right now the Queen is still after my head, it doesn't mean we have to change our routines. But it does mean that if the heralds catch me then they must take me to her and I would really much rather keep my head where it is for the nonce. Sure, it's not much of a head, me being mad and all, but it's still all of my own and I rather like it," explained the Hatter.

"I suppose that is a good reason," Allison conceded, "though I still think there is something wrong with all this. Something weird."

"I can't see anything wrong with it. Weird works for me just fine and this is how things have been done like forever!" says the Hatter and then he just waves goodbye to all and runs into the woods. No limp, Alison notes, but he did have a cane.

And he had been right about the Queen's heralds. Almost as soon as the Hatter had disappeared into the forest, a pack of Card-men arrived to escort all from the tea party to the Queen's garden. The Scarecrow and the Lion walked with Allison and tried to give her some pointers in the court etiquette.

"Basically, all you need to do is be yourself," said the Scarecrow. "It's not really a formal court. Just follow our lead and you'll be fine."

"Yeah, it's not like you'd be called to testify," said the Lion reassuringly, "you have only just arrived here, after all, and cannot possibly know anything."

"Testify? But I thought this was just a garden party? Didn't the Hatter say something about badminton?" exclaimed Allison, "I thought the Queen was just holding court, not putting someone on trial!"

"Well, isn't that what holding court means?" puzzled the Lion.

"I'm sure I don't know anymore what means what," Allison sighed, "but how does fun and games come into it, then?"

"The games take place during the recess," explained the Scarecrow. "This is how things are done here. Don't worry about it."

"What is this trial about then?" Allison asked.

"Oh, I think they are putting Mr. Wabbit on trial over one of his wives again" explained the Baker, who had happened to hear Allison's question.

"One of his wives? Does he have so many then?" Allison wondered.

"Quite a few, I believe. Only one at a time, of course, but there does seem to be quite a number of them," the Butcher answered.

"But it is his first wife, Lucy, that the Queen always wants to know about," elaborated the Candlestick maker. "I heard they found some damning papers in his hole, this time. It may be quite interesting for a change!"

"What will happen to him if they find him guilty of ... well, whatever it is they think he has done?" Allison asked.

"Off with his head," the Scarecrow said, "that's pretty much the only sentence you can get out of the Queen of Hearts."

"I don't want to witness an execution!" Allison cried in distress.

"Unless the Queen is in a very bad mood, you won't need to," the Scarecrow reassured her. "Usually the condemned are just thrown into a gaol overnight, and then the next morning the King will pardon them. Executions happen only when the Queen is so enraged that she demands immediate results."

"I don't think that has happened more than once in the last ten years," said the Lion.

"So, nothing to worry about, Alice," the Scarecrow said. "Nothing at all."


	5. Chapter 5

ch 5

"You mean apart from the fact that I have no idea of how to get home and we are surrounded by crazy people who want to chop off people's heads or make them grow or shrink uncontrollably? It really looks like I have nothing to worry about," Allison pointed out with some sarcasm in her voice.

"It could be worse," said the Lion. "Just go along with it all, and you'll see that things work out, one way or another."

"I think it is the other, that worries me," Allison grumbled, "but I guess you're right. Not much else I can do but go with the flow."

Soon after that they come to the Queen's garden. It is a formal English garden with lots of red roses, geometrical flowerbeds and red brick paths. To the left Allison could see the badminton court, where a net was suspended in the middle. Some people were already there obviously spending their time waiting for the court to convene by playing the game. Allison knew it was supposed to be badminton, but when she looked closer it looked more like a cross between lacrosse and tennis. The rackets were netted crooks, though the handle was the same length as in tennis, and then, at a second glance, Allison realised that the soft, yellow balls that were batted over the net back and forth were actually little ducklings!

"What are they doing?!" Allison nudged the Lion and whispered to him, "That's torture! You can't treat living creatures like that. It's not right. The ducklings could get badly hurt!"

"It's ok," the Lion reassured her, "its part of the character building process the ducklings have to go through."

"Character!? What kind of character could ducklings possibly need?" Allison cried.

"I don't know," was the answer, "this just is as always has been. There must be a reason, so don't worry about it."

"I can't help but worry. Treating them like that is not right. Can't the Queen do something?"

"I think it was the Queen who invented the game," the Scarecrow said. "And even if she didn't, she is quite fond of it, so any interference will just result in you loosing your head. For real."

"Hey you two, come on already," they heard the Lion shout. He had run ahead of them and tried to hurry them up now. "The court is just about ready and the Cat is doing the prosecution!"

"Cat? What cat could possibly be prosecuting in a court?" Allison wondered aloud.

"It's the Queen's House Cat. He is really good and he knows a lot of things. We thought you might want to ask him about that House you want – I mean, since his name is House Cat, he might just know something," the Scarecrow explained.

"The way things have gone so far, I doubt that, but I'm willing to try anything," Allison told him.

Soon they came to the courtyard where the court was setting up. The Queen of Hearts was sitting in the middle on her throne – and she looked exactly like Lisa Cuddy, like that was a surprise. On her left side Mr. Wabbit was standing on a small carpet as the accused and on her right paced a large, grey cat who looked like a feline version of House. Again. Allison was puzzled. She had thought the Mad Hatter was House. Why would she see him again, in so different a guise, too? This was getting a little too Freudian even for her. Sure you want to see the object of your affection everywhere, but she had sort of believed that she had got her feelings for Greg House more or less under control. Apparently she was going to have to re-evaluate that position – as soon as she got out of this dream or hallucination or whatever this was.

People were taking their places and the bailiff – one of the Queen's Cardmen – called the session to order. Allison found herself standing in the front row with the Lion and the Scarecrow on either side of her. There seemed to be no jury, just the prosecutor, the defendant and the Queen, who presumably was the judge – and jury and, hopefully not, the executioner. One of the Cardmen read the charges against Mr. Wabbit.

"Hear ye, hear ye, hear ye. This court has called to the carpet a Mr. Wabbit, the white rabbit, who stands accused of the murder of one Lucy, the first Mrs. Wabbit. All those who have any knowledge of the whereabouts of the person mentioned, or of her body, or anyone with any information pertaining to this matter please step forth at need. Hear ye, hear ye, hear ye."

Nobody moved, though there had been a collective gasp when the word murder had been pronounced. It was the general opinion that Lucy had had a rough deal with Mr. Wabbit, her being his first wife and therefore having had no knowledge of his inability to stay faithful, but none had thought that he had murdered her! Or at least that was what Allison heard whispered behind her. And she couldn't believe that even in her dreams she could think of Dr. Wilson as a murderer! But maybe this wasn't a dream, but a hallucination. All kinds of unthinkable things could happen in a hallucination. But whatever it was, she had no choice but to keep going. The trial had started.

Allison felt strangely disconnected from the proceedings. Until now, everything had felt real, like it was truly happening even if it didn't seem to make any sense. Now it was like she was drawing back from everyone and everything, like this really was a dream and she couldn't quite make out what was happening and what was being said. Or more correctly she was hearing two different things being said at the same time, but it was like the voices came from different realms and she couldn't quite make out either. She heard the Cat explain how they had found some damning papers in Mr. Wabbit's home ("_Hey, I think her eyes are moving_"), she heard Mr. Wabbit protest that he had given no permission for any search (how like House to just break in!), ("_I think she is waking up!_") and she heard the Queen over rule any such objections, ("_Cameron, hey, Cameron!_"). Then the House Cat produced the damning document. (_DAMMIT!)_ And Suddenly Allison was wide awake and totally aware of her surroundings!


	6. Chapter 6

ch 6

What had that been? Those voices she had heard – the ones that hadn't come from the crowd behind her – what were they? Allison shook her head and looked around. She was still in the court of the Queen of Hearts and the House Cat was still prosecuting the White Rabbit and had just produced the damning evidence.

"But that's just a poem," Allison protested when she saw the piece of paper the House Cat waved around. "How is that supposed to prove anything?"

"Order!" shouted the Queen of Hearts. "I will not have the audience interfere with the course of justice. If you think you can interrupt things with impunity, remember I can have you all executed. Do not think that because I'm of the gentler sex, I will be more lenient. I know I have the body of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a king. Do not test me. Proceed with the prosecution Cat."

"Thank you Your Grace," House Cat said and proceeded to explain the nature of the document in his – well, paw. "Now, this poem we found in Mr. Wabbit's dwelling, is dedicated to Lucy and gives us the first real clue we have as to what really happened to Mrs. Wabbit. According to this poem, she is dead and died in secrecy. The motivation for this heinous act can also be deduced from the words that are used to describe the unfortunate victim. Whatever the rest of us may have thought of Lucy, to Mr. Wabbit, her husband, she was hideously ugly and unlovable. He found her attractive only when she was, and I quote, Half hidden from the eye! To his mind gentle Lucy was a – and again, I quote: A Maid whom there were none to praise / And very few to love. He regretted his rash, youthful decision to marry her and finally he snapped and killed her! It's all in this poem, a confession if ever there was one." House Cat went on then to read the poem in its entirety and somehow he really did make it sound like the author of the poem had indeed found the subject of the poem ugly, unattractive on all levels and very much dead by the end of the poem. And by the hand of the author, too. "She dwelt among the untrodden ways/ Beside the springs of dove/ A Maid whom there were none to praise / And very few to love/ A violet by a mossy stone / Half hidden from the eye/ Fair as a star, when only one / Is shining in the sky. / She lived unknown, and few could know / When Lucy ceased to be; / But she is in her grave, and oh/ The difference to me!"

"But I didn't write that poem!" Mr. Wabbit protested. "I just found it and copied it and that was not the way I understood it at all. House Cat is distorting it entirely."

"Well, I find his reading quite convincing," the Queen said.

"But Mr. Wabbit is telling the truth," Allison could no longer keep silent, she had to cry out. "He did not write that poem. I know who did!"

"You know who murdered Mrs. Wabbit?" House Cat asked.

"No, no. Of course not. I don't even know if she is dead." Allison was getting angry. "I know who wrote that poem. It's by Wordsworth! He wrote the poem about his own Lucy, not Mrs. Wabbit at all."

"Are you telling me there are more dead Lucys and their murderers around," The Queen of Hearts sounded almost delighted, like she was already planning a whole bunch of trials and executions. Allison never knew that Dr. Cuddy was so bloodthirsty. Of course, this was just a dream – wasn't it?

"No, no, no. That is not at all what I'm telling. I'm just saying that that poem was written by somebody else than Mr. Wabbit and it was written a very long time ago." Allison tried to be as clear as she could. "There are three poems to Lucy that William Wordsworth wrote over a hundred years ago. That is one of them. It cannot possibly say anything about Mrs. Wabbit or be connected to this case in are real way."

"Are you sure?" House Cat had suddenly blinked out of his place beside the Queen and then he suddenly appeared right next to Allison.

"Oh!" Allison cried, startled. "I had forgotten you could do that. .. Uh, yes, I'm sure. You cannot prosecute someone based on something somebody else has done! Certainly not execute them."

"Are you sure?" House Cat asked again. "I'm pretty sure the Queen can do just about anything she wants, and if she is sure this Wordsworth guy has killed his Lucy – and I would say the poem says pretty clearly that somebody has murdered some Lucy – she may well decide to make do with Mr. Wabbit."

"Very true, Cat," said the Queen, "but we must consider tomorrow's trial too. We can't seem to be able to lay our hands on the Hatter and if we execute Mr. Wabbit today, it's quite possible we won't have anyone to try tomorrow. So, case dismissed, we meet again tomorrow and let's play some badminton!"

"That's it?" Allison couldn't believe her ears. "Case dismissed, but he will stand the same trial tomorrow!!"

The Cat grinned a very typical House-grin and said: "Well not quite the same trial. I have to come up with something new, or the Queen will be bored and want my head. Of course, I do have some ways of making that a bit more difficult," his body suddenly faded clean away leaving just his talking head hovering in the air, "but she has been known to exile people as well, when nothing else serves her purpose, so I try to please." Then the Cat just disappeared.

"But I didn't get to ask him about House!" Allison cried.

"Well, we may run into him again," the Scarecrow consoled her.

"What do we do now?" asked Allison. "I don't want to go and bat little ducklings over a net."

"Yeah, I can see you are too soft-hearted for that," the Lion said. "But we could go looking for this House of yours. The Yellow Brick Road is right behind the Queens Garden and you did say something about the Yellow Brick Road being the way to home."

"So I did. Let's do that," Allison decided and headed towards the road that the Lion had just pointed out.

It was a good thing she did not see the look her two companions exchanged, or she might have been a little more apprehensive about he decision.


	7. Chapter 7

ch 7

"Now where do you think you are going?" House Cat was suddenly standing in front of Allison on the Yellow Brick Road that she and her two companions had just reached. "The Queen told people to go and play badminton."

"I didn't like the look of that game," Allison said. "Besides, I want to get on with finding a way home."

"Well, you don't always get what you want, you know," the Cat said flashing his blue, blue eyes at Allison.

"I do know that. But I need to go home. I cannot stay here!" Allison was almost crying.

"Well, if you were home before you came here, and you came here from there," the cat nodded to the road behind Allison, "what makes you think you find home in that direction?" Now the Cat nodded to the direction Allison was facing.

"She cannot go back that way," the Scarecrow said exasperated. "She fell through a rabbit hole, but the hole disappeared as soon as she hit the ground."

"Are you sure? That sounds odd, you know, things appearing and disappearing just like that," wondered the Cat blinking in an out of sight at the same time smiling his infuriating half-smile.

"But that is what happened," the Lion said grumpily. "So we decided to find another way home. What else were we supposed to do? We couldn't just sit on the ground twiddling our thumbs."

"You don't have any thumbs," the Scarecrow pointed out.

"It was a figure of speech, stupid," the Lion bit back.

"Oooh, aren't we brave now!" mocked the Scarecrow. "If you're not careful you will actually develop a nerve."

"Guys!" Allison intervened, "stop fighting. The point is that we couldn't go back the way we came and now we must try to find some other way to get home."

"Are you quite sure," the Cat inquired. "What if home can be found some other way entirely?"

"I don't know. It's possible, but this is the only way I know of."

"So you just plough on, as you have always done, without really stopping to think why, or if this is the best way to go on?" House Cat taunted. "You never stop to look inside yourself, to find where you truly belong. In stead you trust anyone, follow anyone and so here you are, going, you don't know where, with people you don't know anything about. Yeah, that is really smart. I'm sure you'll be home in no time at all."

"That is mean." Allison said. "I may not know where exactly this road is going, but I am travelling with friends. There is nothing wrong in trusting your friends."

"If they are your friends," the Cat pointed out.

"Of course we are friends," the Scarecrow asserted.

"Sure. What else would we be?" the Lion questioned.

"Can't imagine," House Cat said. "So how long have you been friends?"

"I'm not sure," Allison had to admit. She was suddenly unsure if the time she had known Foreman and Chase ought to be counted as time she had known the Scarecrow and the Lion, or if it was separate thing entirely.

"She fell through the rabbit hole only today," the Scarecrow said. "It's not fair to ask her all sorts of questions now. She is still rattled. If you cannot tell her how to find her home just leave her alone."

"Yeah, leave her alone," said the Lion, too.

"Boo!" said the Cat to the Lion, who promptly hid behind the Scarecrow. "Well, Alice, if you need someone to protect you, don't count on the Lion." Then the Cat just disappeared – and didn't appear again.

"Well that was weird," Allison said.

"Weird works for him," the Scarecrow admitted. "But it isn't much fun for the rest of us."

"You know, it will get dark pretty soon," said the Lion. "We need to find a place to stay, soon."

"You don't think we can find a way home today then" said Allison distressed.

"Depends," the Scarecrow said. "If we get lucky, maybe, but I think we still need to be prepared. Fortunately we can even stay outside, if need be, since I don't think it will rain tonight. And apart from the Wizard, there are no dangerous creatures here."

"Well that at least is fortunate," Allison sighed. "Is there any danger of running into the Wizard?"

"I'm sure we will be quite safe," said the Lion.

"And if there is any danger, you will have ample warning. Just watch the Lion run," the Scarecrow muttered dryly.


	8. Chapter 8

ch 8

It wasn't really later than late afternoon, yet, but Allison had to admit that the Scarecrow was right. If they couldn't find a way home soon, they would need to think about where to spend the night. Of course, it was quite possible that all she did need to do to get home, was to fall asleep and when she woke up, it would be from the real dream – or hallucination – she was now having, and she would be home. But again, she wasn't ready to risk it. No matter what the Cat said, so far things hadn't been too bad, so she would follow this plan and see it through.

"So how do we go about finding a place to stay?" Allison asked. "Do you think we ought to turn back and ask the Queen for shelter?"

"I don't think that would be a good idea. One never knows with her, how she will react to anything," the Scarecrow said. "It's entirely possible that if we go back, she will decide to put one of us on trial tomorrow, and if nothing else, we will be exactly where we are now, only a day later."

"I suppose," Allison admitted. "Perhaps we will find a big tree we can climb and sleep on the branches in the woods. Or even a glade with soft grass might do, if it really won't rain."

"We can look," agreed the Scarecrow. "If we are lucky we may even find a woodcutters cottage or something where we can ask for a room."

"That would be nice," Allison pondered, "unless there are any inns here! I didn't even think to ask."

"No, I don't think I have ever heard of such a place around here," said the Lion. "Nope, I'm sure there are no inns here."

"So what do we do now?" Allison asked.

"I think it would be best if you walked on the road, and Lion and I go either side, into the woods and try to see if there is a tree or a glade that would be to our liking. If you are on the road, in the middle, we can both shout to you if we find anything and then you shout to the other and then we can all meet here. And even if we go too far into the woods, we can always come back to the road and catch up with you – if you don't go too fast, that is," suggested the Scarecrow.

"That sounds like a good plan." Allison agreed. "Are you sure you don't have a brain?"

"He is sure," said the Lion, "he hasn't had an original thought in years!"

"True," the Scarecrow agreed, "the last original thought that I had happened about the same time you last showed some courage!"

"Ok guys! Separate sides and I walk in the middle."

The Lion and the Scarecrow took their sides and left Allison to walk on the Yellow Brick Road alone. She had to admit she felt lonely already, and a little scared. Since she had woken up in this strange place quite a few hours ago, she had been with these two – almost – familiar figures by her side all the time. Now she was alone and though she had already wished a few times that she could be alone and not listen to their talking and bickering, she now found that when you wish for something you really ought to first make sure it is something you want.

She walked along the road slowly trying to listen to the sounds her two companions were making in the woods, but soon she realized that not a sound reached her. They must have gone deeper than originally intended. She stopped for a moment, biting her lip and wondering if she ought to go and find them. But which side first? Besides, they knew where she was, that had been the whole plan, that she would stay in the middle and make sure they could find her. She decided to go on for a little while yet, though slowly, and if nothing happened she would start shouting for them. At the top of her lungs if need be – and to H with possibly alerting the Wicked Wizard of Ouch. If her friends were in trouble the Wizard better look out for himself! So there.

Allison walked on for about five minutes and was just starting to think about yelling, when she heard music from somewhere. The music seemed to come from just around the bend in the road and curiously she followed the sound. She was not sure what the instrument was, but it sounded tinny, like it was a spinet or something like it. The song she knew and she could also hear someone singing:

"Alas, my love, you do me wrong/ To cast me off discourteously. / For I have loved you well and long/ Delighting in your company. / Greensleeves was all my joy / Greensleeves was my delight, Greensleeves was my heart of gold/ And who but my lady greensleeves. / Your vows you've broken, like my heart/ Oh, why did you so enrapture me/ Now I remain in a world apart / But my heart remains in captivity. / Greensleeves was all my joy / Greensleeves was my delight, Greensleeves was my heart of gold/ And who but my lady greensleeves.

Having followed the sound, Allison came to a gazebo that was standing in a small glade just to the right of the road. Inside the gazebo she saw the instrument and the person who was playing and singing. It was the Tin Man! And he, again, looked exactly like Gregory House – except he didn't have stubble on his chin. "I really, really, really, must do something about this obsession of mine when I wake up" Allison muttered to herself.

"Hello Alice," the Tin Man said taking his fingers away from the keys. "Are you all alone?"

"No, not really," Allison answered cautiously. "I am travelling with the Scarecrow and the Lion, but they are right now in the woods trying to find a place for us to stay for the night."

"Really? And how long is it since you last heard of them?" asked the Tin Man.

"About half an hour, I think," Allison said. "I am a little worried, but they ought to know how to get to the road and we agreed that I would stay on it, and they could find me. But don't you know them? I was under the impression that you three sort of travel together? I have been wondering where you are!"

"Well, we do know each other," said the Tin Man running his fingers on the keys over the scales, "but it's not like we live in each other's pockets or anything."

"But they would still know about this place, wouldn't they?" Allison asked.

"Yes, in principle," the Tin Man conceded. "However, it is never quite certain what the Scarecrow can remember at any given time – after all he does have a head full of straw, and though the Lion usually does remember it is unsure he has the courage to say anything. You do see the problem of having flawed companions, don't you?"

"I suppose," Allison said, "but I didn't find them that flawed or scatterbrained. Sure they bicker a lot, but I thought the Scarecrow was pretty clever part of the time, and the Lion wasn't so backward at voicing his opinion. At least not with each other."

"Possibly, and yet they are in the woods on a wild goose chase, though they ought to have known that their best bet for finding shelter for the night is to just follow the Yellow Brick Road!" the Tin Man gave Allison a very House look and stood up from the spinet. He used a cane to help himself and Allison could see that there was a big dent on his right thigh. "Does the cane disturb you, little Alice, do you find _me not shaped for sportive tricks, Nor made to court an amorous looking-glass? That I am rudely stamp'd, and want love's majesty To strut before a wanton ambling nymph; that I am curtail'd of this fair proportion, Cheated of feature by dissembling nature, Deformed, unfinish'd, sent before my time Into this breathing world, scarce half made up, And that so lamely and unfashionable That dogs bark at me as I halt by them; That I, in this weak piping time of peace, Have no delight to pass away the time, Unless to spy my shadow in the sun And descant on mine own deformity_?"

"No!" Allison cried horrified that her glance could possibly be interpreted like that. She felt exactly like she had felt when House had asked her if she was mocking him with the candy canes one Christmas. "No, nothing of the sort, I just wondered what had happened to you. I really didn't mean to offend. I'm sorry."

"Okay, never mind then. I had an unfortunate encounter with a log, that's all," the Tin Man grumbled. "But I think that your companions have got lost in the woods, so why don't you come with me to my cottage a little further on and stay the night? Its right by this road, so the Scarecrow and the Lion ought to be able to find it with no trouble – once they get themselves sorted out enough to find the road again."

"Are you sure they will find us?" Allison asked.

"Yes, I'm sure. They have been there before and surely even the Scarecrow will remember it soon enough. Or then the Lion will get more scared of the dark than of pointing out to the Scarecrow that he has forgotten about it and will remind him. One or the other, but I'm sure they will be with us before long."

"Well, I suppose that's ok then. After all, if your cottage is just by the road, they are bound to get to it anyway, once they come back to look for me."

"Absolutely. So, follow me, little Alice."


	9. Chapter 9

ch 9

Allison and the Tin Man soon came to a quaint little cottage right by the road. It looked very English with the black and white walls and the roses climbing over it. They stepped inside and Allison found herself in a charming kitchen with copper pans and a gas stove where a kettle was whistling ready for making tea. The Tin Man ushered Allison in and offered her a chair at the kitchen table and then went about making that tea.

"Can I help?" Allison asked. "If you tell me where to find things I can set the table or get you what else you need."

"Polite little thing, aren't you?" the Tin Man smiled with only a tiny edge of mockery to his smile. "Thank you, but no. In my own home I'm nimble enough, and I have always had this aversion to people poking through my things."

"But if you tell me where to look I wouldn't need to poke" Allison pointed out.

"True enough. So why don't you get the milk from the pantry," relented the Tin Man. "Pantry is the door on your left, the one on your right is the cellar door so don't go in there, it's dangerous."

"Why?" asked Allison while getting the milk from behind the right door.

"The lamp went out and I haven't had time to replace the bulb. The stairs are pretty steep."

"So you wouldn't go there often anyway, would you?"

"With my leg, you mean?" the Tin Man had finished making the tea and had got everything he wanted set on the table. He sat down opposite Allison and started serving. "No, I don't go there very often. But usually there is someone around who can help me get things from there if need be. The Scarecrow for one, if he trips on the stairs there will be no problem as he is made of straw and cannot therefore hurt himself. In fact it is quite a funny sight, he tumbling down the stairs."

"That doesn't sound very nice, even if he cannot get hurt," Allison said a bit doubtfully.

"Well, as I'm sure you know, I don't have a heart, so I cannot really be a very nice man, now can I?" the Tin Man pointed out.

"Just because you don't have a heart," Allison said, "does not mean you cannot be a decent man. True, you come across a bit abrasive but you were kind enough to offer me shelter and you have at least two friends." She finished her cup of tea and the Tin Man took it to refill. "I think you are just a little hard on yourself. That is all."

"Really? Ever the optimist, Alice. Well, I suppose I ought to be grateful that you are such a trusting soul," the Tin Man said, setting the cup on the table next to Allison's hand. Allison tried to reach for the cup, but she couldn't move her hand. In fact, she felt completely numb all over, like she was paralysed, but not unconscious. Quite the contrary, she could see and hear clearly what was happening around her.

She heard the Tin Man say: "There was a little guinea-pig/ Who, being little, was not big; / She always walked upon her feet/ And never fasted when she eat. / When from a place she run away/ She never at the place did stay; / And while she run, as I am told/ She ne'er stood still for young or old. ... Only, you are not running anywhere now, are you Alice? Not to worry, it is just the paralytic I put into your tea, taking effect."

The Tin Man stood up and knocked on the cellar door twice. The door opened and the Scarecrow and the Lion stepped into the kitchen. They looked a little uncomfortable, but they came over to the table and sat next to the Tin Man.

"Is she unconscious?" the Lion asked.

"No, I didn't think it was fair to not let her know what was going to happen next," the Tin Man answered.

"I don't think that's a very good idea," said the Scarecrow. "In her place I would much rather not know at all. It would have been kinder just to knock her out and let her keep her illusions."

"Maybe," said the Tin Man, "but it is a major operation we are planning and it would not be right to keep her uninformed."

"You kind of creep me out, Tin Man," the Lion said. "Are you sure we need to do this?"

"You mean the operation?" asked the Tin Man. "Are you suddenly having second thoughts? After all the trouble you and the Scarecrow went through to bring her here?"

Allison was listening to the men talk with growing unease. She didn't understand what plan they were talking about, but she was quite sure, it meant nothing good for her. If only she had listened to the House Cat! Or gone back and talked to the Queen, surely she wasn't as bad as this – sure she had a liking for beheadings, but other than that, she had seemed like someone who would listen to reason and possibly even help. Or she could even have followed the Hatter into the woods and tried to find a way home through there. Obviously the Yellow Brick Road was not the way to go in Wonderland. In Oz, it might have worked, but not here.

"I'm still not sure this is right," the Scarecrow said, "ever since you became the Wicked Wizard, you have been getting more and more out of control."

"Are you saying you want out of this?" asked the Tin Man.

"Well, no, not really. I just want to be sure this is the only way to get what we want," the Scarecrow was looking doubtful. "We sort of made friends with her on the way here, you know!"

"I know, how else were you going to get her here? Betrayal is just standard procedure! After all, we are men and man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them. Not that we mean to eat her, but you know what I mean. I'm convinced this is the way to do it," said the Tin Man. "Or do your really want out?" The Scarecrow shook his head. "And you, do you want out, Lion?"

"Okay, then." The Lion had not said anything in answer to the Tin Man's question, so the Tin Man turned to Allison to talk to her. "As you are well aware, the three of us all lack something. The Scarecrow has no brain, the Lion has no nerve, and I have no heart. We decided to do something about that and you are the lucky person who is about to donate to us what we need. If you feel reluctant to take part in this charitable deed, just shake your head. Oh, shoot, make any movement what so ever and we cancel the plan. No? No movement at all. Okay, we take that as a yes, then. Come on guys, take her into the cellar and prepare her for the operation. Before the night is out, we can all have what we want."

Allison was screaming inside her head, but not a sound came through. She saw the Tin Man come towards her holding some kind of mask, which he placed over her mouth and nose. She tried to struggle, to shake her head, bite, scratch, do anything, but not a muscle moved. She was completely helpless and soon the narcotics took effect and blackness closed over her.

She woke up screaming!


	10. Chapter 10

ch 10

"Cameron! Calm down, it's ok, you're safe!" Allison heard Foreman's voice before she could properly focus her gaze. She was terrified for a moment, until she saw Foreman and Chase on both sides of her bed, bending over her trying to keep her still, and she realised that they really were Foreman and Chase, not the Scarecrow and the Lion. She looked around her and realized she was in a hospital room with all sorts of monitors and tubes attached to her. And House was standing at the foot of her bed.

"I'm home?" Allison asked. She saw House's eyebrows climb at her question, but he answered her, never the less.

"It depends on what you mean by home. I know you spend majority of your time in this hospital, especially when we have a case, but I wasn't aware that you were so fond of PPTH that you'd call it home."

"Can't you stop being sarcastic even for a moment" Foreman sighed in exasperation. "Now Cameron, we need to do some tests, but start with telling our names."

"I have concussion, then?" Allison asked.

"Names first, questions then, please" Chase demanded.

"Ok. But I think you have gotten awfully bossy all of a sudden Chase!" Allison said.

"One down, two to go," House voiced limping a little closer to her side.

"Foreman and House," Allison said. "Satisfied now?"

"Not completely, but I will be once you pass all the tests." House growled. "You gave us quite a scare. What do you remember?"

"I tripped and fell in your office. Judging by the time about an hour ago," Allison said.

"No, not an hour ago. It happened yesterday. You have been out of it for a whole day," Foreman informed her.

"What?" Allison exclaimed. "What happened? Surely I would not have been out for that long for a mere concussion?"

"No concussion," House confirmed. "You didn't exactly fall in my office, you passed out. We found an aneurysm in your frontal lobe. It was bleeding, but fortunately we got it before it was too late."

"We did at first think you had tripped and hit your head, especially since after a while you seemed to be regaining consciousness, but you went deeper again and we had to think of something else," Chase told her.

"Well, it was a good thing I was surrounded by the best doctors in the country, then." Allison said.

"Indeed!" House agreed. "But why did you wake up screaming? Pain?"

"Nightmare," Allison said. "Or a hallucination. I don't know which. I ended up as Alice in Wonderland, and it all felt too real. And way too weird, especially since it wasn't all Wonderland, but Oz, too. I was travelling with the Scarecrow and the Lion and they took me to the Tin Man, who turned out to be the Wicked Wizard and they wanted to have my brain and my nerves and my heart."

The three men looked at her inquiringly – even House, who usually hated "story-hours" – and Allison gave them a short version of her adventures in the Wonderland. However she did not tell them that the people in her dream had had some very familiar faces.

"Talk about neurosurgery!" Foreman commented after her story.

"Yikes! No wonder you were happy to be home," Chase said. "And no wonder you said you were home. You didn't mean PPTH so much as you meant just here and not there."

"I see," House mused. "In other words you visited_ the hollow men ... the stuffed men / Leaning together / Headpiece filled with straw. Alas/ Our dried voices, when / We whisper together / Are quiet and meaningless / As wind in dry grass / Or rats' feet over broken glass / In our dry cellar._ Cannot have been very reassuring. Interesting though, that in a way you incorporated into your dream what was happening in reality. We really did cut into you brain, after all – though not to steal it."

"You think I was aware of what was happening to me, on some level, then?" Allison asked.

"Looks like it," Foreman said.

"Ok, kiddies, playtime is over," House said. "You can get all the details later. Cameron needs her rest."

Foreman and Chase knew their master's voice, so they took their leave from Cameron, promising to come again, before they left for the day. House stayed behind for a moment. He didn't say anything, just stood there in his infuriating way, looking at her, like he was waiting for some kind of a reaction or an outburst. Allison hadn't meant to say anything, but suddenly she found the words just leaping out of her mouth.

"I thought they were my friends!"


	11. Chapter 11

ch 11

"The Scarecrow and the Lion?" House asked musingly. "The Scarecrow and the Lion were friends of Dorothy, not of Alice. It is possible that they would have been friends to Alice, too, had they met her. Or even Allison, had you given them Allison. But you chose to give them what you thought they wanted: Allison pretending to be Alice."

"You say that like it's a crime or something."

"No, it's not a crime as such, except, perhaps, against yourself. How could you ever trust your friends, if you don't trust them to **be** your friends for you, but only for what you can **do** for them or give them?"

"So you really don't think people like me?" Allison muttered dejectedly.

"I have told you that people like you!" House nearly snapped at her. "You had the Scarecrow and the Lion fooled, but real people are not as clueless as those in your dreams. You may think you have been able to keep Foreman and Chase in the dark, but they have a much better idea of who you are than you think. Yes, you have secrets, but unlike me, they respect privacy and are quite happy to let you tell them what you want when you want. But they see you and they like you, not because of what you do or give, but for who you are."

"I thought we were talking about my dream," Allison tried to back pedal from the conversation.

"We are. Or did you think I couldn't figure out who was the Scarecrow who thought you owed him a brain, or the Lion who had lost his nerve? And Tin Man now there I really had to buy a clue to figure out who he might be." House shook his head at Allison. "Cameron ... people around you have a much higher opinion of you than you have yourself. You really don't need to serve them hand and foot to make them like you. They just do!"

"You don't," Allison almost sulked.

"I don't like anyone. You know that. You are a good doctor and you fit well into my team. I respect your abilities but you don't need my liking you."

"But I do," Allison said. "I need you to like me. I know I cannot make you love me, that is over, but I need you to like me."

"I like your ass," House said almost dismissively. "You just have to make do with that"

"Could you leave my ass alone!" Allison snapped this time.

"I thought I had," House frowned. "At least I cannot remember hustling it. Do you?"

"No. That is not what I meant. You keep saying that people like me, but you don't. I need to know why."

"No, you don't really need to know why. You just want to. But if you insist, fine, here it is. I don't like you because you don't like you."

"That's stupid! I do like me," Allison insisted.

"If you liked yourself, you wouldn't be so insecure about other people liking you. As I said, you trust people to be your friends only for what you can give them. You sacrifice your own needs and even your medical opinions to please others. You once said that people dismiss you because you are pretty. That is not true. They dismiss you – if they do – because you don't stand up for yourself. You are getting better, you even defend your opinions now, but you still don't know yourself nor like yourself. You are still damaged."

"That could be said about you, too!"

"Of course, in fact, it applies to most people. Very few get through life undamaged. But unlike you, I know my damage and I know myself. I don't need people liking me, I certainly don't stand in line waiting for them to like me."

"Well that's a good thing, because you would be waiting for a long time. You really are a jerk!"

"Dyed in the wool. Yet you insist that you like me. One does wonder why?"

"Well I have just had brain surgery! There must have been a reason for it."

"Obviously even more of a reason than we thought. But it is true you had one, so you need your rest. Try not to see any more dreams, huh?" House suggested.

Allison sighed but couldn't help but go back to her original thought, the one that had started the whole conversation: "So you think that Foreman and Chase are my friends?"

For a moment she thought House wasn't going to answer. He stood at the foot of her bed shaking his head like she was a recalcitrant child who wouldn't go to sleep without her bedtime story. Finally he relented.

"Yes, they are your friends. If I ever doubted it, the moment they found you unconscious on my floor surely dispelled any doubts. For a moment there they both thought that I had actually done something to you and there was bloody murder in their eyes before they came to their senses. Even Chase was ready to tear me limb for limb! So fear not, they don't want to harm you in any way. And contrary to your belief, I do have a heart! It may not be the kind of heart you'd want me to have, but is perfectly adequate for my needs, so you are safe from me, too."

"I already knew you didn't want my heart. After all, I pretty much already gave it to you, and on a platter, too. As I recall, you stamped _return to the sender_, all over it."

"I think that is my cue to leave," House actually gave her a little smile as he turned to leave. "Oh, just one more thing, was Wilson in your dream?"

"Well, yes, he did make an appearance," Allison admitted slowly.

"As??..." House prompted.

"He was Mr. Wabbit, the white rabbit," Allison told him and watched an expression of unholy glee settle over House's features.

"Perfect!" he laughed and left, grinning like the House Cat. Allison started to drift into sleep, but she did hear House singing as he made his way down the hall and she had to smile, he couldn't even sing that song without slightly altering it to mock her, though he was rather gentle about it, this time.

"_When a man's an empty kettle / He should be on his mettle / And yet you're torn apart / Just because you're presumin' / That I could be kind-a human / If I only had a heart. / I'd be tender, I'd be gentle / And awful sentimental / Regarding love and art / I'd be friends with the sparrows / And the boy who shoots the arrows/ If I only had a heart.  
_

The End

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Acknowledgements:

Obviously I don't own House & company, nor things and people from Oz or the Wonderland but they just would not leave me alone until I took them out to play. Really, it wasn't me but them!

Apart from the obvious thefts (like the nursery rhymes used here) there are some sources I need to make clear, as they may be a little more unknown than those mentioned above. The Butler the Mad Hatter mentions is Samuel Butler from whom I got the quotations: "Any fool can tell the truth, but it requires a man of some sense to know how to lie well." and "Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them."Also the idea for the "different" interpretation put to Wordsworth's Lucy poems is from him.

The phrase "I know I have the body of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a king" that the Queen of Hearts uses, was originally said by Queen Elizabeth I in 1588 and the song "Greensleaves" is usually attributed to her father, King Henry VIII, though that is actually doubtful.

The speech about his deformity that the Tin Man gives to Allison is slightly paraphrased from Shakespeare's Richard III. The song in the end from the Wizard of Oz has had a couple of words changed, too.

The Hollow men quotation House uses in ch 10 is from the poem The Hollow Men by T. S. Elliot

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